Welcome to Date Night 5 of Reignite My Relationship: Managing Difficult Conversations.

This date is intended to help you and your partner:

gain a deeper understand of how to have difficult conversations with each other
build on the tools that you have learned in this module, and
help you and your partner have difficult conversations in the future

Below are detailed instructions for your date.

Make sure you both read these instructions prior to your date night. If you would like to download or print out these instructions, I have included a handout at the bottom of this lesson.

Instructions:

Before you begin this date night make sure that you and your partner have set aside an hour or two in an environment where you will not be interrupted. You may want to choose an environment that is conducive to clear uninterrupted conversation, such as going to a local park or beach.

Note: As with all exercises in this course:

stay open-minded to what your partner says
do not interrupt your partner as they are talking (practice good listening skills!)
avoid debating any answers your partner gives-it is important that he or she feels that they can answer these questions as honestly and openly as possible
if you want clarification on what your partner has said, do not be afraid to ask follow-up questions
do not judge your partners answers
when answering these questions yourself, be as honest as possible, and
remember that the more more deeply you know your partner, the stronger your relationship will be.

Once your date has started, take turns discussing the following questions with your partner:

How would you rate our conflict resolution skills at the moment? Are we able to have effective conversations about difficult topics? If so, why? If not, why not?
What communication styles do we currently use during difficult conversations? Are these communication skills productive or destructive?
As you were growing up, what communication styles did you witness your parents (or step-parents) use with each other? How do you think this has affected you?
Are there aspects of your parents (or step-parents) communication styles that you admire? Would you like us to be more like this?
Are there aspects of your parents (or step-parents) communication styles that you do not want us to repeat? If so, what are they?
How do you think we can be manage difficult conversations better with each other? Do you think we would face challenges with this? If so, what would they be? How do you think we could overcome these challenges?
How do you think we can be more assertive with each other? Do you think we would face challenges with this? If so, what would they be? How do you think we could overcome these challenges?
Do we negotiate fairly with each other? If not, happens instead?
Do we brainstorm problems that we face? If so, does this work for us? If not, would it be useful to start?
What aspects of this module do you think will be most useful for us to manage difficult conversations with each other?
If we could have difficult conversations in a more productive way, what difference do you think that would that make to our relationship?
Is there anything else you want to say about how to manage difficult conversations with each other?

Important Note:

This exercise can bring up some painful memories.

If you or your partner want support at any time, book a counselling session with myself (or your local counselor).

Module 5: Date Night

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